A survivor of cancer and three separate rape incidents, the latter of which has resulted in rape trauma syndrome, has gathered the courage to break her silence on the harrowing experiences.
Lisebo Mokoena details the effects of these unpleasant experiences in a self-authored, tell-it-all memoir titled A Letter to My Past.
She has undertaken a campaign to educate women and girl learners at schools to speak out instead of repeating her mistake to remain silent, trying to hide the intense feeling of shame after being raped.
Mokoena (42) revealed that the series of rapes began with two close male relatives at her home in Kutlwanong, Ondendaalsrus. At a later stage, she was raped by two male strangers in broad daylight at a secluded spot near the Welkom industrial area.
The rape by her two relatives occurred in 1993 and 1996, respectively.
This happened while she was left in the care of the two relatives when her grandmother had matters to tend to outside their home. She remained silent about the rape by the two family members.
“I did not tell anyone, not even my granny, about being raped by two relatives. I was hurting inside. I was going through emotions, doubting whether any of the family would believe me if I told them about being raped. This was because the perpetrators played innocent, and were seen as the ‘good ones’,” said Mokoena.
She said the gang rape was very traumatic.
“Afterwards, I collapsed as I was running towards a filling station to look for any help. I woke up in hospital.”
She recalled that her bone-chilling screams did not stop the two strangers from taking turns in raping her.
The gang rape incident happened in 1997, when Mokoena was in high school. The perpetrators kidnapped her on her way home from school.
“I cried because at the time it was common for girls to be killed by rapists.
“I felt like the rape by two relatives was a curse and the gang rapists could smell the rape curse on me,” said Mokoena.
A powerful prayer saved her from the two savage rapists, she believes.
“I stopped crying and began praying for God to save me. They then left me in the veld afterwards,” said Mokoena.
Mokoena, now a mother of two, was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2007.
“That took a toll on me. Cervical cancer is associated with sexually promiscuous people in our society. People who engage in unprotected sex with different male partners. The shame and stigma this type of cancer has for women is unbearable,” said Mokoena.
She said the rape incidents came back to haunt her during her cancer treatment.
“In the process, I lost my self-esteem,” said Mokoena.
After recovering from cervical cancer, she was later diagnosed with colon cancer in 2015.
Mokoena has survived these hardships and has been receiveing treatment for more than five years.
“I thought writing this book was necessary and educational for my children. It is for guidance and to positively impact in their lives. Knowledge is power and many go through difficulty in silence.
“Rape is sensitive and was the one chapter that drained me emotionally as I relived those painful experiences. The exercise of writing this book evoked emotions, but it has healed me in the process,” said Mokoena.
Despite having her university studies interrupted after falling pregnant, Mokoena has succeeded in obtaining a Bachelor of Commerce degree.
Mokoena launched her book on 9 August to tie in with the celebration of National Women’s Day in South Africa.
Rape is sensitive and was the one chapter that drained me emotionally as I relived those painful experiences.
– Lisebo Mokoena
