For all our lies in the world, we deserve an Oscar. Chances are, as you read this article right now, you have already done your fair share of lying or have been lied to. Lies about being over your ex when you are drowning in sorrow of “what-ifs”. Lies about loving your boyfriend’s greasy, push-back hairdo in these days of smooth chiskops.
When coming to colours of lies, we are spoiled for choice. There are white, grey, blue and red lies. The sizes and flavours also vary. Some lies are sweet and little. There are those that are big and bitter, too.
The business of lies is in us. We start the craft of lying as children, hone it in our teen years, and in our adult life, we are pros.
Our lives, politics and religions are built on lies.
Remember when you were dumped and, to ease the pain, you said you were long over that relationship and there are plenty of fish in the sea anyway. There was also that day when you told your pastor that you were completely cured by his miracle oil when in reality it was an expired fish oil that kept you awake all night with an upset stomach.
And who would have thought that the author of 13 of the 27 books in the New Testament, Apostle Paul, in Romans 3:7 would say that, “But if through my lie God’s truth abounds to his glory, why am I still being condemned as a sinner?”
Seriously? Surely the greatness of God does not need the Pauline-Pinocchio justification exploits. What about the ninth commandment in Exodus 20:16, which condemns lying?
As mere mortals, we are emotionally raw and complex. Cold moments in our lives lead to gullibility. Then a jab of lies become our vaccine to protect us from ourselves and others. We lie to pump up our esteem, jealously protect ourselves and shamelessly exploit others. We fear skeletons in our closets giving us “nagmerries” in our sleep.
But can lying sometimes be virtuous? Yes. Even the leading Christian philosopher saints such as Augustine and Aquinas, who condemned lies, agreed that these can be permissible if they do more good than harm.
Surely the consequences of telling gangsters that your neighbour they are looking for is hiding in the roof of your house will be dire. Saying to your children that if they do not eat their vegetables Father Christmas will not give them presents can be beneficial.
These are prosocial or sweet little lies, meant to give us the what-you-don’t-know-can’t-kill-you, feel-good factor. They are morally justifiable and meant to keep the fabric of society together. Although they are lies, they are intended to protect, inspire and help. These lies accept that the truth can hurt just as much as lies can. So, the novelist, Franz Kafka, was right that sometimes “you don’t need to accept everything as true, you only have to accept it as necessary”.
Despite the moral basis of lying in some instances, we should seek to tell and live in the truth all the time. Lies are hurtful, divisive and draining. They lead to mistrust and are hard to maintain. They never insulate us from our flaws. Lies deny us the freedom to make our own choices, good or bad.
Next time when you think of lying, just remember that we are only as good as our words that give meaning to our existence.
) Dr Mafole Mokalobe writes in his personal capacity.
